No anecdote necessary, just a statement of fact...but, when I think about it, in grammatical terms, it's really like the ultimate-superlative (excuse the redundancy). Seriously, and much like the word "shit"; probably the most useful word in the English language (and which many antonymous to my point of view would regard in its literal form as a synonym to the subject), when attached to any noun, pronoun or adjective, it works:
Ex.1 "This guitar is cool, and so is this one. But this one is the McRibbiest." Ex.2 "How am I? I'm great. In fact I'm having the most McRibby day today." Ex.3 "Whoa, your breath smells like McRib, I McRib you not."
Admittedly; Neil Young's music is fairly new to me...and though this new-found love occurred very happenstance, I am hooked...
I have been dieting on "Tell Me Why" & "On the Beach" for months now. As this is being typed, it is now hour-two of tonight's musical journey, to Albuquerque...on rotation, serenading a sleepy-head (my God, that pedal-steel, it just rips me up)...lying in bed closing my eyes for the night before I finally decided to jump out & purge what's on my mind...
Lyrics...when done right, they are THE direct circuit to the Soul. And that's what I need in music; this connection with mine. I believe that Neil Young is quickly becoming my favorite lyricist; he is definitely up their with John Lennon. They are incomparable though. Their lyrical-styles are completely different: unique but equal in relevance & both totally unfiltered: John, he was just completely fearless; brave. He was also naturally witty & intelligent. This is who he was, truthfully & without effort...and his lyrics reflect this (his very nature). Neil on the other hand is just so direct & succinct in his honesty: their is no attempt on his part to be clever, sarcastic or metaphoric...there is no "your (add vehicle here) is like the (add tenor here), where it (add cliche/adjectives that gives the simile merit)". That's not kind of lyrical poet he is...no, he cuts straight through with his lyrics, spilling his heart & thoughts out unguarded. So in his own right, he is just as brave & audacious. Perfect example: I was forever trying to write out/explain, with a superlative amount of words, exactly what I want in a relationship with a woman, when I heard EXACTLY what I was exasperatingly trying to explain, expressed with 9 simple words that Neil sang (in the opening verse on Down by the River): "Be by my side, I'll be by your side"...no more needs to be added to this, it's perfectly put!
Now as familiarity goes, I am at my nascent stage of being a fan; his catalog is my new-found discovery & each song is a gem to behold... Within the song Albuquerque specifically, embodied in the live performance above, is the perfect complement to Neil's vocals via his guitar work: completely open/honest lyrics as well as his yearn-filled, soothing voice, both belie the deep-boom & rumble added to the dynamics of the guitar; like a counterweight giving perfect balance to the heavy chords. I use the word heavy as a double-meaning: the high E-string is down-tuned, giving weight to the low end & overall feel of the song, making each chordal strike sound more massive, as heard (rather, felt) in the guitar passage that quotes the chorus at minute 0:32, which ends with a bombastic note at minute 0:41 before continuing on gently...also, the guitar work is emotionally heavy: it is very, very rare in a song when the guitar alone can make me cry: his playing is filled with such deep, heartfelt sadness, I can't help but be moved in sympathy with the notes.
Juxtaposed perfectly with this are light lyrics, such as "find some fried eggs & country ham" which allows for just enough space/time to take a breathe & gather myself: I can very easily drown in the blissfully beautiful melancholic mood (as is my wont). Even before I was a fan of Neil's work, I had come to find a specific lyrical passage to be gripping & subconsciously made me take notice to it: for some reason as a kid, when I heard "There's one more kid who will never go to school, never get to fall in love, never get to be cool", I was profoundly moved. I shed a tear & felt an overwhelming sense of sympathy for the subject of this verse...it still moves me today...
What's more; Neil is just such a seasoned, master-craftsman with the instrument, I never knew this about him: his strumming dynamics & sense of timing; his selection of delectable, choice-notes in just the right places. He also has just the right amount of overdrive dialed in through his vintage Fender Bassman to where he can control the gain amount with his volume knob & his hands...pure tone and emotion just dripping from his fingers & strings...i.e. @ 1:35, He starts the 2nd verse by palm-muting the chords while delicately strumming. He then lets up on the strings with his right hand just a bit, adding dynamics by striking single-note stabs in the midst of a light arpeggio & in between each lyrical line, perfectly complementing his soft vocal phrasing by accenting the hammer-on note on the up-beat (on "2 and") of each measure, while lightly choking the string with just the right touch; making the guitar sound like it's got a lump in the back of its throat, as if the Telecaster is trying to talk while choked up teary eyed: I love when a musician can make the guitar sound so very human.
Bottom line, I am coming to find that Neil & his music are genius, & I thank God for both.
Scene: Dark sky...ash drifts amongst the twisted wreckage; fire-gutted, charred ruins litter the landscape. A vista of moonlit devastation, bathed in blue. Then, the roar of an alien-looking aerial patrol craft as it enters from close overhead. Its powerful searchlight stabs at the terrain, sweeping away the darkness below while its twin, vertically-angled cylindrical jets emit a wheezing whistle during its menacingly slow, low & forward-tilted prowl. Another aerial unit hovers many blocks away, both stocking the ground, firing tracers that scream & illuminate short burst of bright purple light which effectively set off smoke-filled explosions. Cue soundtrack: low Eb swells in from a synthesized keyboard; root note droning over a paced ascending/descending walk from the 5th & 6th intervals of the Phrygian mode. Close-up of the terrain; blackened bones lie in heaps everywhere. The steel tracks of a massive, matte-gray leviathan crush the skulls that blanket the ground. Industrial-style red & blue lights flash & flicker across the side of its head as it turns ponderously in the dark sky. Hydraulic metal arms are folded mantis-like towards its torso, likening it to that of a mechanized monster. These are machines of death, called HKs; Hunter/Killers...suddenly, a helmeted figure in a makeshift military outfit dashes out amongst the ruins while cradling an energy rifle; sprinting away from ominous doom. The figure is quickly spotted by the ground-HK's searchlight. One of two under-slung turret guns flanked on each side of the tank quickly follows the movement, firing numerous, thundering & powerful bolts which light up the hastily moving figure's trail. Finally...a direct hit. The figure explodes...torn apart; vaporized in a red mist. Chunks of fiery pieces are scattered. The cloud of ash settles, effectively adding a continuous coat to this terrain of terror. The tank proceeds with its patrol. The figure it just stalked was a soldier, in a nightmarish war. Cue dialogue: "The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind has raged for decades. But the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present."
This perfectly sets the stage & premise for one of the most iconic, archetypal sci-fi/action films of all time, The Terminator...a film that, in December of 2008 was considered culturally & historically significant enough to be entered into the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress, for future preservation...a film with theories & concepts that have undoubtedly inspired not only other films, but ideology & moral dialogue pertaining to technological advancements as well...a film that captivated me as a kid, where I would sit hours on-end, introspectively drawing out inspired artwork of the post-apocalyptic battles; you see, there was no video game nor toys for the first film; it was only a pencil, paper & my imagination.
Yes, I am what you would call a die-hard fan. And a bevy of imagery used to depict the opening paragraph was inspired after my reading the fourth-draft of the 1983 screenplay written by James Cameron...who's masterpiece was arguably inspired by the previous works of sci-fi writer/legend Harlan Ellison...but ALL of my fervor & passion, including the well-versed nomenclature to follow, derived directly from a notable few: Christopher Shields (an equal, who's extrapolations have further expanded my knowledge within the Terminator Universe through the years), Randall Flakes/Bill Wisher (who wrote the story & novel), the unequivocally imaginative creations of the late-great Stan Winston (I cannot fathom my childhood without the influence he had on my imagination), the immensely unnerving, mood-drenched melancholy & terrifying drama expressed in the original score composed by Brad Fiedel (of which I am listening to as I write this very sentence; instantly transported through time) & of course, the visionary genius of James Cameron (whose original ideas & depiction of the future war captivate me to this very day).
I most certainly can lay claim at lengths-end to every nuance & concept of the franchise as it relates/equates to my love for it, but that would still leave me short of my goal. The purpose of this piece is two-fold: to convey passion & informative concern; the latter works in sympathy with the former. In light of anticipation for the latest installment to the franchise, I felt first thrilled, then scared...thus catalyzing the IMMENSE need for a proper outlet to express my intensely bottled thoughts & feelings, which in turn helps better express reasons for them; all with respect to the latest installment.
Terminator Salvation is set post-judgment day: the day which Skynet (Artificial Intelligence; a neural-net based processor developed by Cyberdyne Systems Corp.) after becoming self-aware, sees all humans as a threat, then-with its complete & absolute control over all U.S. military & nuclear firepower-lays waste to 3 billion human lives in a matter of hours; the prelude to iconic, futuristic figures...enter Skynet's world ruled by mechanized machinations, the terminators; terror personified. The theater for this point in time was perfectly realized through James Cameron's dark, haunting vision & I have been waiting for this story to be told since childhood...
Up till now, I have only been baited with brief, minute-long morsels of the future, but it was enough to reel me in; hook, line & sinker. The future-based story is at the very core of my imagination & passion. And in all honesty, I never subscribed to the plot device of time travel; by the 2nd, bastard-child of a sequel (Mr. Cameron was not involved with Rise Of The Machines), the concept became repetitive & formulaic: send machine through time to eliminate future resistance leader, resistance counters with a protector. If you follow this concept, you'll find that it leads to fatuous conclusions via extraneous effort; you can't continue down that line of thought for long before getting your mind tangled in Time Travel Paradox: if John Connor were not conceived...if as a threat, he was terminated by the machine that was sent back in time to do so...then John would never exist in the future, thus negating the need for Skynet to send a machine through time in the first place...however, Skynet would concurrently cancel out its own existence, since the failed machine's arm & microprocessor were the remains that were discovered & eventually reverse-engineered at the Cyberdyne facility it was destroyed at; reverse-engineering which ultimately led to Skynet's existence in the first place. So one would deduce that John Connor had to exist in the future in order for Skynet to have reason to send a machine through time, which would then have to fail in the Cyberdyne facility in order to lead to Skynet existence. One way out of this time-loop is to consider the concepts of Alternate Time Lines & Parallel Universes, where within each are slightly altered variants of the future/present: one where John exists but not Skynet, then one where Skynet exists but not John, etc...so you see what I mean by extraneous...
Adding to the quandary present in previous sequels is the "star" himself: Arnold, portraying the same T-800/850 model sent back every time; why would each machine look exactly the same? Think about it, if Skynet had the intelligence to create cyborgs then surely it would have the capacity to understand the innate need to vary each design. Skynet developed the T-800 specifically for infiltration, so duplicate designs would defeat its purpose...thus are the follies overlooked by Hollywood in light of big bucks. No, I choose to dismiss these weaker concepts. They take away from the true substance, the real stars of the film; directorial vision, sci-fi technology & aesthetics.
As previously stated, James Cameron is a visionary. He has a unique, action-scene signature that is all his own; a cinematic fingerprint, if you will. In each of his films (specifically T1, T2 & Aliens) he implements the use of filtered lighting; bathing each picture in trademark blue, effectively intensifying the look with a sort of visually-droning effect. The result is a modern, timeless look & feel; very clean, crisp & resolute picture, especially in high definition. Another idiosyncratic method is his Panaglide work & camera angles. For me, the real sense of drama in the future war is felt when the action is shown between eye-level & worm's eye perspective. By starting low, then slowly panning to the point-of-view of the resistance soldier, he puts you in the thick of the drama: you feel like you are there, in the middle of the fight. This allows for the sense of horror one would feel in the midst of explosions as aerial HKs swoop toward you & terrifyingly so, whilst blasting shots from its belly-mounted turret gun, just as in the 3-minute sequence that opens T2. The technique succeeds in making the action look & feel bigger by dwarfing you in perspective. And this, to me, is where Cameron's vision will truly be missed.
I am not trying to prejudge McG's directorial contributions & am settled in the fact that this film will most certainly look different. But I must admit, I am already dissatisfied with specific trailer footage; where he utilized birds-eye-view during two explosion scenes: one at a gas station & another is a bridge chase. The scoped, panned-out aerial shots actually have a negative, inverse relationship with the desired reaction; these shots quite simply look too staged & don't give much impact to the depth of human conflict; I want to be put in the middle, not pulled away from it. Cameron most definitely would have left these scenes on the cutting room floor. Oh well, I digress...every director has his/her own style & no matter how you slice it (a little editor's pun for you) the future of the franchise will forever be altered while out of the hands of the originator. Now that doesn't necessarily equate to a bad thing, but that doesn't mean that the franchise should be altered to the point of unfamiliarity either.
Which leads to my next point & concern: aesthetic, the original of which has been altered beyond the point of recognition. Put briefly: to me, aesthetics are everything.And this goes for anything I am passionate about. But as it applies to the topic at hand, my concerned is best expressed through the concept art of Martin Laing; which depicts an aerial HK that has been altered in design, with a more streamlined chassis & nose. The backdrop is lit by sunlight reflecting off big bright clouds. Equally unnerving is the foreground, which depicts wreckage draped in vegetation. How can this picture be painted when I am under the impression that a nuclear shower has just scorched the earth? In the wake of such a catastrophic event, ground levels would be soaked in radiation & a smoke-filled sky would blot out any sunlight, bringing about a nuclear winter which would further impute any vegetative growth. I want to believe the story, but this picture doesn't compute.
I don't mean to inveigh with my writing, I am just trying to illustrate my points. Let me put it like this; if I were incumbent to the franchise, I would use litigious actions & obdurate restrictions that mandate absolute accuracy to the original aesthetic. A zero-tolerance policy that is to be implemented throughout the cinematic continuum that is the Terminator Saga, regardless of director or producer. The machines, the terrain, the sky, the weapons, the wardrobes, the vehicles; the overall look I grew up knowing...everything, right down to the ribbed texture of the olive-green military vests the resistance fighters wore...is to be considered aesthetically canon & therefore to be left unhampered with. It should now be clearly illustrated that every original nuance & fine-detail are critically integral to the franchise; on par with the story & the score. This should also make it perfectly clear that the overall effect is greater than the sum of its parts.
For all my fervent convictions & all my concerns, I am decidedly optimistic of Terminator Salvation overall. This is due in no small part to the prequel-based stories published by Dark Horse Comics. I have fallen in love with the ideas represented within these pages & it's been really cool to see my passion, which was initially based on sci-fi action, evolve to now include the storyline & plot device; the tale of human struggle during the war, told with insightful detail: terminators that differ based on geographic location (Skynet is adapting its machines to suit the terrain). The use of vacant manufacturing plants to mass-produce terminators. Resistance camps coordinating worldwide strategic, as well as tactical plans to counter-strike by disrupting Skynet's global supply-chain, which would greatly effect procurement of raw materials needed to keep assembly lines running at full-capacity. I also love the intricacies: the makeshift, low-tech communication & tracking devices. The security protocols, encryption & audio decoys used to secure channels & conceal base locations. I even love how the resistance records patrol-activity of the machines; monitoring patterns in movement to best forecast optimum transport & communication windows to/ from camps. This puts you right in the trenches with them, by giving substance & depth to the characters, their perils & their ingenuity, all on a global level. All this is accompanied by lively artwork. If these pages are any indication of what's to come on the big screen, then the movies should make for an exciting trilogy.
Maturity & open-mindedness have allowed me to be as objective as a die-hard fan can be. These attributes have also afforded me the ability to surrender my aesthetic prejudice & acknowledge other qualities: I understand that Terminator Salvation is set in 2018, the very nascent stage of the war. Skynet is barely realizing its potential, still conducting the R&D for the exponential advancements soon to come...so there will be no phase plasma rifle in 40-watt range. There are no T500 HKs equipped with General Dynamics Model 44RD89, traverse-mounted turrets. There aren't even any T-800 Model 101 Infiltrator Units, yet...I will instead be introduced to the age of the mini-gun equipped T-600; a hulking, 7 ft tall crude-prototype, & I'm thoroughly excited to see the story develop from the ground up, so to speak.
I must acknowledge that accompanied with this feeling is mild-guardedness; as with most die-hard fans, I am very aware of Hollywood's perfunctory-past, with regards to their nefarious negligence to the ever-devoted fan, in favor of appeal to the regular movie-going audience. This has been been a long-occurring trend: we (die-hard fans) create the demand for the blockbuster & they turned their back on us by diluting that which we love; watering down or cheesing up our beloved film for the masses, all in the name of big cash profit. But McG may very well break away from the norm. He has been very adamant about honoring us. At Comic-Con 08, he indicated that "this whole thing began with listening. We listened to the fans; everybody wanted to look at the future." He continued by stating his mission to be "respectful to the creators", adding how "wildly encouraging" it is to have the endorsement of Gale Anne Herd (Producer of T1) & James Cameron himself. And though the score will not be a reprise for original music director, McG has enlisted another juggernaut, Danny Elfman. This all sounds good, but I will very soon find out if he will incarnate his words or if he was nothing more than duplicitous in his dialogue.
Today there are no laborious efforts scheduled, nor will there be...today is a personal day that includes a field-trip to the local cinema (preferably IMAX), where I will offer $10 & 90 minutes of my time in exchange for a superb story & sci-fi action, & nothing less. I have already prepped & briefed myself with topical information: I have read the comics & omnibuses. I have scouted websites & fan-based forums. I have revisited the previous installments. I have studied the iconic soundtrack for the first film (detail of Brad Fiedel's efforts deserve an entirely separate platform all its own). I have even set aside my prejudices...now it's up to McG to come through with the rest...let's hope he did his homework, for the franchise's sake.
People are so quick to categorize things. It doesn't even matter if what they are categorizing is remotely understood, they just want to put a label on it, even if that label is incorrect. This is especially true in music.
I go to so-called indie/underground/alternative artists to escape from the much-too-often mundane & insipid singles that dominate the radio waves. I'll admit it; I hold esoteric music & bands that qualify with more esteem. The albums released by such artists tend to be more emotionally relevant. Consequently, they are also more guarded by me. This is because I don't just go to these records & listen passively; it's highly interactive & often cathartic. I'm engulfed & consumed in it; music is more rewarding when experienced that way.
The general consensus of pop or mainstream music fans is that this kind of music is beyond them: i.e. several friends vomit the proverbial "I don't get it" then "it's droning" followed by "too weird" along with a strew of other adjectives after listening to OK Computer. I can tolerate 2/3rds of the responses: maybe the fact that I'm a musician has allowed for a stronger palette than the novice listener. But seriously, is Radiohead really that "weird"?
Much like all western music, it's based on triadic chord structure & played on instruments with tempered tuning, so it's fundamentally not foreign at all. However, I will say that the ethereal quality of the production makes it hard to gauge exactly what it is that makes the music tuneful, but that's also what makes it so appealing:
I was packing for LA to attend a show at the Hollywood Bowl last summer when I found myself bouncing back & forth between Subterranean Homesick Alien & Let Down. I just kept thinking, "God, these songs are so fucking good", and never really stopped to figure out why I loved them so much, until now. This supposedly "foreign" music, with its "weird" array of ethereal sounds, is filled to the brim with quite possibly the most basic & universally key component that transcends any language; melody. These songs are melodic masterpieces. And I'm not just talking about the vocal melody lines, I’m talking in totality, melody is coming from every instrument. It's contrapuntal; the arrangement of the "strange" sounds, come shooting out of nowhere, then hover & float in stereo, then they all dance in tandem with the soaring lyrics & "otherworldly" instruments...all these sounds combined & intertwined harmoniously to make up one giant melody; simple & genius at the same time.
Melody is built in to each instrument & section of these songs, filling the sonic space to its capacity with a spectrum of sounds that command me to sing along & never ceases to lift my spirit ever more. The only "category" I can file these songs under is beautiful.
When attempting to express the level of importance something has to me-be it musical, political or otherwise-I address it at the level one would an academic study. I habitually attempt at as much detail, supporting statements & seriousness as I would a thesis or dissertation (even as I complete this sentence I want to spill out & type in so much more). Maybe I'm too cerebral, because I have a very innate habit of over-explaining myself. It's mainly due to the fact that I constantly attempt to look beyond the obvious & understand true nature behind it all, or "read into things" so to speak. And this is why pop-song structure is so challenging & fascinating to me. High standards aside, pop structure works differently than I do; by being short & sweet (in its most potent form). But this can work with my nature: at its very heart & at its very best, a pop song is a highly efficient vehicle that lends itself well to getting meaningful ideas into a very large amount of minds. By way of killer hooks, melodic lyrics, catchy beats & glossy/sheen production, you can speak about something meaningful & thought provoking, & simultaneously get it into a large stream of conscious. I know that most pop music doesn't aim do this, but it is possible to have content that's more than just "gonna make you want me, gonna move my body"...
Plus, lyrically, I enjoy play on words, double meanings, or lyrics that allow you to develop & conclude (if you wish) your own story lines. This is because it's also in my nature to attempt to observe & discover deeper insight into things. I enjoy a level of depth in people, music, literature & definitely comedy. Am I wiser than most? Not necessarily. Does this make me better others? Not at all. But I like to think that these are the subtle nuances that make life richer, more enjoyable & more meaningful than just what our formulaic ways seem to dictate; such as buying groceries, settling down or preparing tax work. I can't exactly summarize my point briefly & I'm not going to fall into what my nature wants me to with this...though I can certainly write a bakers-dozen or more songs about this...but when you can look at life like art, then you'll see where I'm coming from & getting at. If you can't, don't worry. You will, someday I pray...when your blessed enough to be old & start thinking about what's next, without fear I hope. And for this, I'd like to think that I'm ahead of the curve...
The past two days were especially fruitful, entertainment-wise, to be a couch potato:
Inside The NBA took a look at a CP3 webisode of his Celebrity Bowling Event, capped off with a hilarious avatar from The Big Lebowski; Kenny & Chuck's faces were superimposed over (movie character) The Jesus & his side-goon! The icing on the cake was when Chuck inadvertently said "Nacho Latino" when referring to the NBA honoring the Latin fan-base on Hispanic Night (Noche Latino). Apparently he's learning the language & promises to do an entire show in Spanish. Kenny replied with "you can't even speak English right".
PTI was equally comical; Kornheiser clowned on Wilbon after showing clips of the worst First Pitches (Carl Lewis' takes the cake). Some unnerving news though regarding the Cowboys; Dan Reeves is to be a special advisor in Big D? Jerry Jones must have a thing for ex-Denver Coaches, he already has one…I don’t like it…and Tony’s now Twittering?!? Gotta give that a go!
And where was I all this time with NCIS?? Can't believe I missed it for so long! This show embodies the modern day Ginger/Mary Ann conundrum in the form of Ziva & Abby. Love & lust aside, the storyline is great, couldn't turn away; the team had to untangle a school-room bomb threat involving a disgruntled teen, who, as it turns out was just the marionette. They use computer encoders & freq-sweeps to track down the villains. All this before sunset, of which I learned there are three: Nautical, Civilian & Astronomical (don't let people say you can't learn from Television); I loved it. I had to laugh though; after Jennifer Shepherd asks her assistant to retrieve Ducky, the assistant responds to Jennifer with "Yes Sir". Which was surprisingly suiting; though I just started watching the show, Jenny does seem a bit *douchey...
I almost got into a fight last night. As crazy as it may seem, I remember the last time-to the date (because of my ridiculous memory)-I took a swing at someone. I was sixteen & the opponent was one of my best friends. Just before tennis practice there was a quick game of basketball. It got heated; he ripped the 311 t-shirt I wore, a squabble ensued & coach had to pull us apart.
Testosterone was involved. This time so was alcohol. Both blinded me for a bit. We can all get caught up in the heat of the moment and it's easy to forget what matters. I mean, what truly matters in life. The key word for me here is forget; as in, I once knew. I still know (thank God), I just have to remind myself. That's why I wanted to share this email I sent to my sister the day after her birthday. It's helped me remember. If you're in need, hopefully it will jog your memory too:
Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:15:32 -0700 From: --------------- To: ---------------- Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER!!
I'm sorry I didn't send this sooner; there's been so much going on and I didn't set aside enough time to get in touch with you. But I didn't forget, please don't think I did.
Time...what can I say, one of the most constant things I know: always moving forward, yet we easily forget it's speed because of life's daily distractions. God, to think, the sun is burning energy, the moon is slipping further from the earth, the universe is expanding. All this is happening right now, yet all we are blinded by is bills, high gas prices, where I misplaced my phone last night or the latest pair of sneaks I have to get. Yeah, it's easy to lose focus & forget how our time should be spent because we too easily set sight with short perspective. That's not how life should be lived. I'm barely learning now that there's no time for fear; for hesitation to go after what you want, or even for waiting too long to let someone know you love them. At least I'm learning.
There is no time not to be you, every moment of every day. This is something I am practicing and trying not to forget. Making music and playing music have helped show me how, and so have you. I love you so much, not just because you are my sister, but most of all because you are you.
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